i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
