I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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