The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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