I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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