If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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