I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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