He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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