i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
