The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
