If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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