im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize