Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
So much rum. So many feels.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
