shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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