I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
