mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
