i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
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All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
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I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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