I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
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