girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
