If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize