I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
