Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
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you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
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Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
We are all done wearing pants today
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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