If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
