We won't sleep together?
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
