The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
