Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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