Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
