$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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