How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Randomize
