During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Let's get the cat blown out
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
