after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
