Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
