My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
