Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
