5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
