he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
