I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
