Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
