Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
