Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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