We're like a lot better than the average bears
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
