i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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