i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
