i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
