I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
