just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
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we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
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I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Blood and glitter go together right?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.