My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.