Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
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Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
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could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.