my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
