Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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