well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
