you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
