I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
