Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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