i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
