just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
