I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
