we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
