So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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