Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
