bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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