I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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