I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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