called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
