If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Randomize
