Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
