I think i sorta joined a cult last night
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
