in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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